Lots of couples, once the honeymoon period is over, still want more sexual pleasure from their relationship, and sometimes more! Recently I wrote an article about sexual problems and asked what some of the issues are that can arise for couples, with regard to their sex lives.
A quick reminder, or if you’ve not had the opportunity yet to see it, I raised some simple questions that couples want answers to; first, do you feel you really do have sexual problems in your marriage? Second, do you find you want to make love more (or less) often than your partner does? Last, do you believe and feel that your partner doesn’t work sufficiently hard enough to give you the sexual satisfaction you want?
I went on to say that you’re not alone if you are experiencing some issues that cause you concern; so many couples go through really tough times with regard to their sex lives, but you can get over those tough times and they are surmountable. There are so many positive things you can do to resolve your sexual issues. To help get you both back on track to a healthy and satisfying sex life with your partner, let’s look at a few simple guidelines to help you get the sexual pleasure you (rightfully!) want.
Number one. Ladies; let’s kill off a very misleading notion. There is this assumption that men do know all there is to know about making love and how to satisfy a woman. This notion is false because it just isn’t true that men know ‘everything’, even about you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been partners, there will be things he won’t find out… unless you are willing to be open and explain to him all about them.
The plains facts are simple; there are no two women who are totally the same, to there really is no way your partner can just sense what you feel, or what you enjoy when you’re in bed together (or somewhere else!), if you don’t make the effort to tell him. Your first job is to communicate with him and make sure he knows what you actually do enjoy. The same goes for the man; talk to your partner and make sure you find out what she really enjoys and likes, what can really turn her on to give her the stimulating set of pleasures. Always bear in mind that if she isn’t turned on by sex currently it could be for a lot of reasons. Overwork is often a sex drive killer, or maybe she’s worrying about other family matters… the list is almost endless. Always, always, give support! Whatever you do don’t chastise her. The same goes for you ladies; if he isn’t in the mood, look at the underlying causes that can be making him not want to have sex. By working on the issues it could provide you with the answer to what is going wrong.
Number two; begin by communicating with your partner about as many of things that are concerning you as you can. By talking you can open up to each other and be honest about how you feel. Sometimes discussing private things can be uncomfortable, perhaps even embarrassing, but you need to know what each other is thinking, and feeling. Whatever you do, just put the possible embarrassment to one side and communicate with one another.
Number three. So often it is the view that the man should be the one to initiate the lovemaking. So, please take heed, and put that silly theory out with the garbage where it belongs! The simple fact of the matter is that so many men really do love it when the woman in their life takes control and initiates the sex. So, all you ladies, don’t just get into the habit of lying there whilst your man does all the approach work. Try and learn to be as responsive as you can and take control when you want to. Maybe let him lay there while you get things moving in the right direction. If you don’t take the initiative it will inevitably lead to a boring time for both of you, and it’s this attitude that will send your sex life into a downward spin.
Number four. Don’t be afraid to show your partner what you would like him, or her, to do. There are times when just using words and verbally explaining what you really like won’t be enough. If you think about it, it’s so much nicer when making love for you to give a helping hand by moving their paws to places you like to be stroked and touched. Try whispering sexy things into each other’s ear about what you want your partner to do because it really is very sensuous. There will be times when your partner hits the right nerve and does something you find really pleasurable and exciting, so make damn sure you let him, or her, know. How? By letting your partner know that you like what they’re doing to you! And that you want plenty more of it!
The bottom line to getting a bigger share of sexual pleasure in your marriage is COMMUNICATION. Think about it; if you can’t talk to each other openly, then you will need some help. If you try and make the effort to communicate with each other it will pay huge dividends and, ultimately, bring you so much closer together. Sexual pleasure will then follow, naturally.