When Healthy Conflict Crosses Into Emotional Abuse – 6 Signs of Emotional Abuse

All close and healthy relationships involve some conflict. When both partners are mutually loving and respectful, this normal occurrence can actually drive forward compromise and ultimately increase satisfaction within the relationship. However, there are situations and relationships where the dynamic is set up so that the conflict is disrespectful, or designed to demean or control the other partner. At this juncture, the conflict can become emotional abuse. Here are 6 signs of emotional abuse in the relationship:

1. In arguments, your partner frequently criticizes or puts you down to the extent that you begin to feel inferior, incompetent, or otherwise worthless. You might even start to question reality based on your partner’s statements about you. The criticism could be presented in the form of name calling, but also in “suggestions” about the way you ought to do things, etc.

2. At the end of the day, you feel obligated to give an account of your activities and face the criticisms of your partner over how you chose to spend your time. You might find yourself justifying and defending yourself, and eventually even choosing activities you know your partner will approve of just to avoid conflict.

3. Arguments occur around you spending time with other people outside the relationship. Your partner might actually prohibit you from seeing certain people, or put a guilt trip on you for abandoning him or her to spend time with others.

4. If you consider opportunities that could better yourself such as through education or employment, your partner might discourage this. If this issue revolves around controlling you and keeping you dependent on him or her, that can be emotional abuse.

5. If sex becomes more about control than about a loving and caring expression of your relationship, this can be emotional abuse. Your partner might be demanding of intimacy regardless of your feelings, or deliberately withholding of affection in order to control you and keep you feeling rejected and vulnerable.

6. If you find yourself walking on eggshells and worried about what will happen if you don’t give in to your partner’s demands, this can fall under the heading of emotional abuse. Once in a while you might be on the receiving end of some kindness, but it typically occurs randomly as a carrot, as a way to draw you back into the relationship before abusive behavior begins again.